


The Tumblr Crackficlets 17: Cute, Adorable, Kittens & Rage

by darth_stitch



Series: Sherlock BBC - The Tumblr Crackficlets [17]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Cute, Fluff, Fluff to the nth power bring your toothbrush and towel, Humor, John Watson is adorable, M/M, Romance, Schmoop, Sherlock fell liek a ton of bricks, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-29
Updated: 2012-08-29
Packaged: 2017-11-13 03:14:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/498812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darth_stitch/pseuds/darth_stitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John deals with being short. Among other things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Tumblr Crackficlets 17: Cute, Adorable, Kittens & Rage

  
Originally posted on  [The Blanket Fort - Darth Stitch on Tumblr](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/post/30433928727/kittens)

 

[ ](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/image/30433928727)

**Cute, Adorable, Kittens & Rage  
**

He’s short.

John gets that - in fact, he gets it so much that he could probably write a bloody book on all the short jokes that he’s ever gotten in his life.  That includes Hobbit jokes and it is a testament to the staggering genius of J.R.R. Tolkien that John Hamish Watson is _still_ a fan of the Lord of the Rings books.  

No, he does _not_ have large, furry feet. 

And if a certain Consulting Detective knows what’s good for him, he will kindly refrain from commenting upon anything else about John’s anatomy that corresponds to large and furry.  _Ahem._  

John’s also resigned to the fact that he was, as his ex sister-in-law Clara had put it so very well, “completely made of cute, adorable, kittens and rage.” He gets the “cute and adorable” part, because he’s heard it all his life and put it to good use.  God help him, he even gets the “rage” part, because he does have a temper and it’s a caution, no mistake.  But really, Clara, kittens?  _Kittens?_

For whatever reason, nearly every single female John’s ever met is in _absolute agreement_ about the “kittens” remark including Mary.  He’s tried to get an explanation from them but all he ever gets are knowing smiles and helpless giggles.

God help him, even the _Duckling_ got it and refused to explain this to her poor Doctor John. 

It was a bloody conspiracy - it had to be. 

John gets the fact that being short means he occasionally has to rely on things like ladders and stools to get to stuff that’s stacked away on too-high shelves, especially necessities like honey and tea, when certain idiot Consulting Detectives forget that their flatmates aren’t built like giraffes.  He gets that he oftentimes gets overlooked and it’s incredibly _easy_ to turn invisible in a crowd or when one is standing beside one of the most gorgeous men in the United Kingdom ( _at least_ \- and John is most emphatically not biased in his opinion).  

But being short’s had its uses over the years.  Being short saved his life in Afghanistan, because he’s lost count of the times a sniper’s taken aim for his head and missed him by scant inches.  Mind, being shot in the shoulder hurts like a sodding bitch but getting shot in the head means _dead_ and there’s no recovering from _that,_ thanks very much.  Getting overlooked and underestimated because of his height means that Captain John Watson has the advantage of surprise over an enemy and he knows perfectly well how to utilize every possible thing that he has and can find as a weapon. 

And these days, being a certain Consulting Detective’s blogger is a lot more dangerous than it looks.  John doesn’t mind, though.  While he knows perfectly well that Sherlock is capable of defending himself, John still knows that one of the cardinal rules of survival is having someone you trust to watch your back.  And he’ll always be there to watch Sherlock’s back (and enjoying the view too, mind you). 

Also, short sometimes means that if he wants to kiss his impossible, maddening, beautiful boyfriend, John would have to aim for his shoulder.  On the upside, this is something that they can easily get away with in public and it’s worth it to see the look of _startlement-bemusement-shy pleasure_ that steals across Sherlock’s face each time he does that, like it surprises him each and every time John shows him affection. 

(Just as a side-note, there is a dark, terrifying part of John Watson that would be happily willing to hunt down every last sodding berk who’s ever made Sherlock Holmes feel that he was _not_ worthy of the slightest sign of affection or care or love.  Just saying, folks.)

Short also means that John is about the right height to nuzzle said boyfriend’s lovely long neck if he wants to, kiss the underside of his jaw and if John wants to aim for those lips then that, right there, is the reason why Sherlock wears a scarf.  Scarves are effective tools to catch wayward geniuses with, not that said wayward geniuses protest this overmuch.  

So yeah, John’s pretty much gotten used to his vertical difficulties.

He’s still not getting the thing about the kittens though.

***

John Watson’s height is actually perfect.

There may be some people (read:  _Mycroft_ ) who might point out that Sherlock’s point of view is terribly biased and utterly devoid of any scientific objectivity whatsoever.  Sherlock will thank said people to shut up and concentrate on their diets instead and _maybe_ try not to be so obvious about making cow eyes in the direction of certain supposedly dishy Detective Inspectors. 

Yes, Sherlock’s tried to delete _that_ out of his Mind Palace several times over but John will disapprove on the “A Bit Not Good” level.  Since there is a relative 99.5% certainty of said Detective Inspector becoming a brother-in-law, Sherlock supposes he’ll need to get used to the idea. 

(Mummy would be so pleased. Perhaps Sherlock really ought to drop in and visit her one of these days.  She’s already done planning his and John’s wedding - it was high time to get her thinking about _Mycroft’s_ nuptials.)

Sherlock is quite aware that his Army doctor has been the long-suffering recipient of many remarks about his height or lack thereof.  In Sherlock’s considered opinion and this, naturally, has much basis in fact, the rest of the world are idiots. 

John thinks that he’s only average when it comes to outer appearance but this is where he’s _utterly_ wrong.  Sherlock’s seen women and quite a number of men take a considered second or third look in John’s direction, with considerable enough interest that Sherlock’s often found himself edging subtly closer upon John’s personal space, the silent message of _Mine_ completely obvious even to the dullest mind.  It’s _worse_ when John deigns to smile and Sherlock’s seen that expression work its spell many a time.  Heaven only knew that he himself was far from immune. 

John’s height makes it perfectly easy for Sherlock to choose to drape his arms around him and rest his chin gently on John’s good shoulder and steal a quick nuzzle and kiss on his neck if necessary.   Sherlock had seen these gestures of affection displayed before but he’s never felt the need to do these things himself, not until John.  Sometimes, he does these things for entirely selfish reasons, needing a moment to drown himself in John’s warm scent of tea and his soap and shampoo and the underlying scent that was just _John_ and meant _home_ and _love_ and _safe._  

It clears the endless noise in Sherlock’s head and he’ll have these few precious moments of utter peace and contentment.  Once he’s done, he’s able to think clearly again. 

Sometimes he does these things because he can tell _John_ needs it, after a long day at the clinic, dealing with the tediousness of human ills or when he’s beginning to show signs of stress or strain during a case.  Or an argument with Harriet about her drinking yet again.  Sherlock does these things so that he can feel John slump against him and sigh and be comforted and loved in turn, the same way John has showed Sherlock each time he brushes an absent kiss to Sherlock’s shoulder or runs a hand through his hair. 

John’s height also makes it easy for Sherlock to brush a kiss on his forehead, usually along his hairline, because it’s the easiest and simplest way to show affection.  The trouble with kissing John Watson on the lips is that _it never just ends with a simple peck._   They both end up wanting _more_ and said kiss quickly turns very, very pleasantly heated and both of them tend to forget their surroundings as a result.  

The notion of traumatizing Mycroft was initially appealing.  However, Sherlock has discovered that most people (read: _the Yarders_ ) tended to regard him and John with less than utter seriousness at the most inappropriate times whenever the two of them forgot themselves yet again. 

If Sherlock has to remember that he needs to stock the tea and honey on the lower shelf and his experiments higher, rather than the other way around, then he’ll take note of something so relatively simple and not delete it as his wont.  (Though sometimes, he’ll still mix things up just to tease his boyfriend, who could be rather adorable in a strop.)  If Sherlock tells Hobbit stories to a certain Duckling that actually have a certain Army doctor in mind, it’s not because he’s teasing John about his height.  It’s because he’s teaching a little girl that there are such things as real heroes and Sherlock has somehow been fortunate to share his life with one. 

And yes, Sherlock completely understands the thing about the kittens.

He just won’t explain it to John either. 

***

**Author's Note:**

>  **NOTE THE FIRST:** OMG. THE FLUFF.  THESE BOYS.  *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk*
> 
> **NOTE THE SECOND:** Y’know, my John Muse would really like _somebody_ to explain to him about the kittens….
> 
> **PICTURE SOURCE:** [Cumberbatchweb](http://www.benedictcumberbatch.co.uk/)
> 
>  


End file.
